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This isn't happenning

Experiences like this are what make me strive to provide better service to customers and  just positive interactions in general.

I was having a rather typical day. Not much out of the ordinary. I worked on some projects, dealt with some upgrade requests, fixed some broken servers, and I ordered some stuff. All of the projects fell into place.  The upgrade requests were straight forward.  The broken servers and services were a piece of cake.  Where did my day fall apart? At about 6:09 PM PDT.

What happened? I made a mistake. Early this afternoon, I ordered some monitors and keyboard to be drop shipped directly to a client in Arizona. No problem there, but it’s a very time sensitive and critical order. At about 6:00, I realized our supply of patch cables was kinda low.  So, I decided I’d better order some more. No problem, I do this all time.

Click, click, click, set quantities, order, confirm, EAAAAAK! NOOOOOOOOO!!! It was too late, I already released the mouse button. It was confirmed. I see it, at the top of the final confirmation page, “AZ” for Arizona. The default shipping address changed to the client address in Arizona.

I thought to myself, “Maybe I can salvage this, it normally sits in pending status for a while, and I can cancel it without issue.” While I was sitting there refreshing the orders page waiting for the order actually show up, I tried to initiate a dreaded chat with customer service.  The chat required an order number.

So, I sat there, refreshing the orders page for about 7 minutes before it showed up.  NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! It’s already in finalizing parcel status. I can’t cancel it without talking to support….

Hi Michael ****! My name is Lisa F.. 6:17:42 PM CS Team CS Team: I have reviewed the reason you are contacting us and I am happy to assist.

Lisa Arrives

So, here begins the epic of  Michael vs. Lisa F, a customer support adventure….

Let’s pause for a second. I own an IT company (TMPros), and one of the services we provide is a help desk. Suffice it to say, I have high expectations. I’d put our Tier 1 staff up against Tier 2 and even some Tier 3 support teams any day of the week. While this isn’t technical support, both situations are customer service.  I digressed, suffice it to say, I have expectations and it’s the end of the day. I’d rather be relaxing.

At this point I’m thinking, “Awesome, this is going to be fast.  I was first in line, and I heard from Lisa F in less than a minute!”

Lisa, are you there?

Lisa, are you there?

So, I come out of the gates with my problem order and some details and concerns regarding my earlier correct order.

… 2 minutes, 30 seconds later… crickets.

I give her a slightly sarcastic, “Lisa, are you there? Hello?”

Thank you for holding ... would you like me to cancel it for you?

Thank you for holding … would you like me to cancel it for you?

Lisa asks to “place me on hold.” No problem, she obviously needs to pull up my account. I’m still thinking, “This should be quick. It’s a no-brainer.”

A few minutes later, she comes back with the response I expected. “Would you like me to cancel it for you?”

Up until this point, things have gone EGGsactly as I expected. This is where Lisa either has a stroke or perhaps some sort of bathroom related emergency.

Are you there? Are you getting my messages?

Are you there? Are you getting my messages?

Trying to be as concise as I can with no ambiguity because it was important that only one of the orders sent to the Arizona address be cancelled. I say “Yes, please cancel [OOPSORDER#], I can reorder.”

I’m not sure if I caused this to devolve by asking another question before getting a confirmation from Lisa, or whether she really had to go. I had received a notice on my banking app on my watch that the transaction had already processed. So stupidly, I asked “How long does it take to process a refund?”

Agent is typing… then crickets for 3 minutes. Finally a message from Lisa, “I have not received a response from you for 3 minutes. Do you still want to continue this chat?”

REALLY LISA? I realize, if I say nothing for 3 minutes, that message pops up no matter what.  In fact, thinking back, I’ve been disconnected from this company’s chat while waiting for a response from them because I ignored that prompt… So I offer more sarcasm, and continue asking questions.

Getting annoyed

I truly apologize for the inconvenience.

I feel like I’m reliving a nightmare as I narrate this conversation.  This really happened. It wasn’t a dream.

She asks me the question that I just answered, and has to run to the bathroom or something again….

At this point we’re more than 30 minutes past my original order mistake, 15 minutes past my original confirmation that I wanted to cancel the order, and she thankfully apologies.  Moving forward… but wait, still no confirmation from her?

Yep. I'm here. Definitely still with you.

Yep. I’m here. Definitely still with you.

Lisa needs to seek treatment for her IBS. She is either gone or ignoring my questions.

Then, “Michael. Are you still with me?” REAAALY.

So, at this point, she’s either completely incompetent, messing with me, or in mortal danger.

Did you really just ask that question?

Did you really just ask that question?

This isn't happening

This isn’t happening.

Thirty minutes in, she confirms that she “can cancel” the order for me. Just to make sure, I asked her for a confirmation with the specific order number.

Yes… all done. Lets wrap this up.

Nope, not that easy:

“I noticed that sale order [CRITICALORDER#] is the same as address as sale order number [OOPSORDER#]. Would you like me to cancel sale order number [CRITICALORDER#] for you?”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I flash directly to “This isn’t happening.” scene from the X-files where the stereotypical alien is abducted by a monster alien. I’m not quite on the floor in fetal position, but almost.

I said specifically at the beginning of the chat that “Order # [CRITICALORDER#] is not to be interfered with.”

Myself and every member of my staff spends countless hours every month on both sides of the support equation. Most support technicians spend very little time doing anything other than supporting people.  For us, we also provide vendor management services, requiring us to handle many of the support calls to other vendors. I love (and hate) this part of our service model. I end up getting stuck with the most difficult vendor management issues, but my staff is exposed to the other side of the customer service equation on a daily basis.

There are three things that will NEVER happen to me when I’m on a support call as the supported:

  1. Get stressed
  2. Become emotionally charged
  3. Give up

On the flip side, there are three things that I will AVOID on EVERY SINGLE CALL when I’m supporting someone else:

  1. Leaving a question hanging for more than a few seconds
  2. Failing to address frustration or emotional responses from the customer
  3. Giving up

Never give up.

Have a great day!! Bye bye now.

Have a great day!! Bye bye now.

On to the finale, where I received only two more “I have not received a response from you for 3 minutes” messages.

Lisa, you need a new career path or you superiors need to address your workload. I’m not sure who is to blame, but something should be addressed.

Without the “3 minute” warning, I would have been able to split my focus between this and other issues.  This conversation required 90% of my attention for nearly an hour.

I gladly fill out the survey following the support chat. Every single one of my company’s support encounters offers the client the ability to provide anonymous feedback on the interaction.  They can rate the technician as well as provide comments. Believe me, we pay attention to your feedback.  I’m hoping someone at this unnamed vendor does too.

TL;DR Customer support requires attention to the customer. Don’t leave them hanging.

The Whole Conversation

The Whole Conversation

The Sarcation Point

That'd be great¡I’ve been talking about this thing for a couple years now, and it’s actually starting to become a thing.  It’s really starting to take off.  I’m sure many of you have seen the sarcation point in use¡

For those of you who do not know here is the definition:

sar·ca·tion
ˈsärˌkāSHən/

noun

NORTH AMERICAN informal
  1. A punctuation mark (¡) indication a sarcastic phrase or series of phrases.
    “This is totally awesome¡”

I’m going to see what I can do about having it added to the US standard layout keyboards¡ The iPhone can do it by holding the exclamation point button.  It’s U+00A1 in unicode.

If more people use it in textual communication there will be far fewer misunderstandings.  Comments like “That’s awesome¡” or “That’s nice¡” mean something totally different than “That’s awesome!” or “That’s nice!”

I expect everyone to start using this. (Notice I’m serious, there is no sarcation point)